


Bah Humbug - Darcyland Christmas Challenge - Day 6

by Caiti (Caitriona_3)



Series: Darcyland Christmas Challenge 2018 [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Darcyland (Marvel), Darcyland Christmas Challenge, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caitriona_3/pseuds/Caiti
Summary: After a year of hits and misses, Christmas might prove to be the perfect time.





	Bah Humbug - Darcyland Christmas Challenge - Day 6

**Author's Note:**

> Made it just in time! Still Dec. 24th here! This one blew up on me too.
> 
> Inspired by [Christmas Wrapping](https://youtu.be/ARq6uYSsUq0) by the Waitresses

[ ](https://imgur.com/lyU2zsl)

_Bah, humbug._

Not a true sentiment in all fairness. Darcy loved Christmas - all the lights and music and everything. This year, however, she wanted a quiet night alone without all the insanity. The past year proved to be one of the most difficult ones she could remember. And, given her history with Jane, Thor, and the various personalities of the Avengers, that said something. 

Handling alien invasions, public relation disasters, and laboratory shenanigans - no problem.

Personal problems, especially a couple of unresolved crushes? Much more difficult.

So now, she planned to put all of that to the side and let herself relax. With Jane traveling off to Asgard with Thor and everyone else having plans of their own, Darcy had two days with no expectations, no work, and no reason to get out of her pajamas tomorrow. She didn’t know who would be where, but they’d all be on call in case of an emergency. For herself, she didn’t plan to stir outside of her Tower apartment once she got home.

First, however, she needed to get the labs shut down - starting with Tony’s.

JARVIS could handle all of the machines, but she wanted to make sure no one left any food or drink or chemicals out somewhere. During her search, she put away supplies and stuck notes up on boards or windows where they wouldn’t get lost. As she worked, her mind began to wander back through the year.

Frustration number one came in February.

Not on St. Valentine’s day oddly enough. That she might have expected, given Jane and Thor’s continued lovey-dovey ways, but nope. Instead Darcy found herself pulled out of the labs and sitting in Maria Hill’s office.

“We need your assistance on a mission.”

“Excuse me?” She figured no one would blame her for the sheer disbelief in her voice. “I’m not an agent or an Avenger or an anything else that says subtle or secret.”

“You’ve got good instincts, an adaptable mind,” Hill pointed out. “Plus you can think on your feet.”

“Yay, I’m awesome, but have you looked at me?” Darcy almost rolled her eyes at the flat look she received. Almost. She didn’t have a death wish. “No offense, but I’m so not agent material.”

“We don’t need subtle - we need normal.”

“Okay . . . I’ve got that in spades,” she agreed. “But normal for what?”

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, one of our agents requires someone to stand in as his ‘wife’ for a conference this weekend.”

She stared at Hill for a long moment. “If I don’t know this guy, we’ll never make it.” Making a face, she rethought her statement. “Actually if he doesn’t know me or if I don’t like him, we won’t pull it off.”

“Why?”

“Have we met?” This time nothing would hold back the sarcasm. “Again, I don’t do subtle and my mouth sometimes goes off without my brain permission or filtering. If he can’t keep up, no way in hell would we be married.”

The soft chuckle drew her head up and around, eyes scanning the shadows until she spotted the man perched on a nearby filing cabinet. Clint smirked as she blinked at him. “I think I can manage,” he informed her. Jumping down, he strolled over to sprawl in the chair beside her. “Not like we haven’t had practice.”

“You’re a Creeping McCreeper,” she shot back, pushing away the jolt of ‘yum’ that always went through her when he walked in a room.. “And one day you’re gonna get a shock when you do that.”

“Not outside weapons allowed in HQ,” he reminded her.

“They didn’t search me and they didn’t take them.”

His eyes zeroed in on her, but she ignored the warmth pooling in her belly at that look to turn back to Hill. “Okay,” she allowed, “I can probably handle being married to him.”

And she had! She’d gone through the weekend, coming away with high marks for her help as well as a ‘well done’ from Hill for her use of a taser on one of the bad guys. Never mind that her previous attraction to Clint blew up into a full-on crush. Something in his eyes and actions made her wonder if they might have a potential mutual thing going on, but then their schedules went a little chaotic. By the time things began to slow down again, she jaunted off to New Mexico with Jane to check some readings and he headed around the world on a different mission.

Pulling herself out of that memory, she moved towards Jane’s labs. Since her best friend only left a few hours before - after a two-day science bender - that one might take the longest. She glanced into Bruce’s lab as she walked past. A quick scan proved everything in there remained clean and tidy. Her quietest scientist didn’t like a lot of clutter in his space, so he rarely needed her help in that way. 

Weird how Bruce reminded her of Natasha . . . or maybe not. Seemed like everything wheeled back to Clint or Natasha in one way or another.

Which brought her to frustration number two.

Back in May she’d walked out of the labs, tired and grumpy after yet another round of interpersonal diplomacy with the science crew. All of them managed to be in bad moods at the same time and they squabbled more than any group of toddlers she’d ever met. Head down and grumbling about infants and cats as the elevator doors opened on her floor, she went to step out, her mind fixed on a shot of tequila.

Only to pull back before she could barrel into the amused redhead waiting on the other side.

“Tasha!”

Natasha offered her a smile. “Hard day?”

“They forgot how to share.” Darcy rubbed her forehead. “And if they don’t remember by tomorrow, I’m issuing a lockdown order. So fair warning - bored scientists will be on the loose.”

“I’ll pass it along.” She paused for a moment and then put an hand on Darcy’s arm. Her green eyes, so often more reminiscent of icy cool jade, now warmed with affection. “Why don’t we go get a drink? Maybe even some food.”

Shoulders slumping in gratitude, Darcy finally smiled. “I will love you forever,” she assured the other woman, though she tried to ignore the light flush flooding her cheeks.

Soft laughter filled the elevator as the doors began to close. “I can work with that.”

In a small mom-and-pop place a few blocks from the Tower, they sat in a back corner booth. Some food, several drinks, and things began to smooth out for Darcy. She considered doing a little flirting, kind of testing the waters, when something blew in the front window. Black Widow - because Darcy could see that ‘Tasha’ was gone, buried beneath her alter ego - shoved her under the table. She dispatched the Doombot before it could regain its bearings.

“Here.” Widow gave Darcy a gun. “Unless the building starts to burn or collapse, you shoot anything and anyone that tries to move you from this spot. You don’t leave here without one of us.”

“Got it.” Nerves made her voice shake, but she took the gun. Sparing a moment to be thankful for her lessons, she checked the weapon over. (Some back corner of her mind still stammered over her shooting lessons. No matter what kind of danger she found herself in, she doubted she’d ever really get over the shock of being able to claim the _Winter Soldier_ taught her how to use a gun.)

For a moment, Widow paused and Darcy saw Tasha flicker back . . . and pause. She started to say something, but another explosion outside wiped away the moment. Cool green met concerned blue. “Be smart,” Widow told her. “Stay safe.”

Then she disappeared, diving out the window and into the fray.

And so much for that chance.

Calendars again went wonky and before she knew it June had flown by and July rolled around without anything further happening on the romantic front. Sure, she still saw Clint and Natasha - with the group for the most part, but never alone. They watched her, she spotted that much, and something in that watchfulness tugged at her, making her wonder if maybe, just maybe…

But they never made a move, together or individually, and seeing them as a unit . . . well, she wasn’t the type to crash or poach. So she swallowed the bitter drink of unrequitedness and did her best to be open, friendly, but left it there.

Frustration number three came with a Mai Tai and a medical visit.

“I’m going to start asking for shared custody if this keeps up,” Darcy muttered as she ducked behind Clint, again with a gun in her hand as they watched the bad guys rounding up partygoers. She’d been playing the bimbo wife this time, rocking a tankini and wrap-around skirt while he’d been trapped in a suit as they idled away the time at a party hosted by some rich guy from Miami. With a Mai Tai in her hand and her low cut top proving to be an excellent distraction, she’d enjoyed the time in the sun.

Until the party-crashers arrived.

“Custody of what?”

While Widow and Tasha maintained a distinct delineation in the middle of a situation, the line between Hawkeye and Clint tended to be much less strict. Thus his willingness to play along when she used humor to defuse her stress.

“Yours and Tasha’s weapon collection,” she replied. “If I’m going to keep ending up as the minor partner in these situations, I might as well make it official.”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “Like being our partner, do you?”

“Gotta admit, it’s got some unique perks. Good food, great alcohol, and heart-pounding moments of excitement - what’s not to like?” Her voice dropped. “Not to mention sexier landscapes.” She winced when Clint grew still, realizing she might not have been as quiet as she hoped. “Ah…”

A gunshot brought his attention back to the mission at hand. “Make a note, sweetheart. We’ll be revisiting this later.”

“Great.”

Darcy thought he might have followed through if the Avengers hadn’t found themselves dealing with another maniac trying to take over the world. Before they finished dealing with that situation, she received an invitation to accompany Jane to Asgard. Thor wanted his people to meet the woman who’d bested him. She came back with a new, very advanced taser as well as a title - which she still grinned over.

Of course, she’d also returned to find both spies away on another mission, so there went that potential . . . again.

Bringing herself back to the present, she finished Jane’s lab by sweeping the last of the trash into the cans for the cleaning crew to handle. Then she headed towards the elevator, ready for that quiet, private Christmas.

As she pushed the button for her floor, frustration number four came to mind.

Stark Industries threw a big Halloween bash and Tony made sure to invite all of them. Darcy dithered over various costumes until a joking comment by Steve Rogers of all people sparked the perfect idea. She decided to go as a witch, but not just any witch. No, she did her research and pulled up some pictures from the 1940 pin-up era. While she couldn’t compete with Pepper’s graceful elegance, Jane’s delicate beauty, or Tasha’s seductive glamor, she knew she could rock the pin-up look. 

And she did.

Possibly too well given the sudden attention from several men - and quite a few women - at the party, but she managed to enjoy herself. She even snagged a dance or two with their own 1940-era relics. Careful to stick with the Avengers and their friends, she never found herself alone or on the sidelines. A couple of hours in, she stood at the bar with Tasha, laughing as the woman drove off anyone who tried to interrupt with nothing more than a direct stare and a caustic lift of her eyebrow.

“It wouldn’t kill you to dance with _one_ of them,” she teased the redhead.

“They’re not looking to dance with me, _kotyonok_.”

“What?” Darcy frowned at her, confused at the Russian. 

Tasha took a step closer, edging into Darcy’s personal space. “They’re after you.”

Her pulse turned erratic and she hoped the woman couldn’t see it. Before she could say anything, a flash of annoyance flickered in Tasha’s eyes. “I’ll be right back,” she told Darcy. “Someone tried to bring cameras inside and one of them looks off to Steve.”

“Sure. I’ll . . . ah, I’ll just wait here.”

“Good.”

Natasha hadn’t been gone five minutes when she heard the sound of some type of lasers and shattering glass.

“Seriously?” Darcy took one last sip of her drink. 

Before she could head for cover or an exit, a harsh voice interrupted her plans. “You’re coming with me.”

In a calm, controlled manner, Darcy put her glass down on the bartop and turned to face the speaker. Husky, weathered, and armed, the goon of the hour stared at her, the gun in his hand not quite pointed in her direction. Behind him she could see Widow, Cap, and Soldier fighting off a group of his companions while Iron Man dealt with some kind of robotic air force. 

Folding her arms over her chest, she glared at the henchman, doing her level best to match the one Tasha did so well, both sharp and icy. Given the tiny flinch, she thought she must have done a good job. “I am getting tired of this shit.”

He reached for her. “Look, bitch-.”

“It’s ‘witch’,” she corrected. She wanted to quiver, to run, but she’d been through this kind of thing a few too many times. Maybe she wasn’t quite at the ‘just another Tuesday’ level yet, but she had to be close. “And I guarantee if your hand lands on me, there’s a good chance you won’t be taking it home with you.”

A sneer twisted his lips and he grabbed her forearm. Then he screamed, a high pitched sound that might etch glass, as an arrow sprouted from his wrist. She congratulated herself when she didn’t jump back or give her own shriek. Really, she’d expected _something_ because that’s how her team rolled, but she didn’t even know Hawkeye was in the building. Next time she’d have to make a note to ask about everyone’s whereabouts. 

The scream choked off as a black-gloved hand came down with a strike at the back of his skull. Widow did a quick scan of Darcy who offered her a shrug. “I tried to warn him?”

Her lips twitched, almost curving into a smile. “Quite rude of him not to listen.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely needs a lesson on manners.”

“I’ll take care of it.” 

That sentence out of the mouth of Black Widow? Whole segments of the criminal world probably just shuddered in terror. 

“Our Hawk’s on his way to get you,” Widow continued, a glimmer of Tasha crossing her face. Darcy blinked at the possessive pronoun . . . and the implications in her usage of it. “Do as he says.”

“Right.”

She was still staring after the redhead when Clint reached her and bundled her off to safety.

Anyone in their right mind would have expected conversations to start taking place - that night, within the next week, something. But did that happen? Nope. Of course not. First Loki showed back up with yet another alien invasion. Then Doom decided to attack the city when the Fantastic Four were in Japan. Toss in SHIELD missions and Asgardian visits of state, and all of their time went into work.

So, yeah, Darcy walked towards her apartment, all but dragging from a long, tiring year. JARVIS promised he would take care of turning on the oven at the appropriate time, so all she had to do was do the finishing touches. After she changed into her comfortable Christmas pajamas. Her door opened and she stepped inside, mouth opening to thank JARVIS.

Only to fall silent, mouth still open, but now in surprise as she saw Tasha stirring something on the stove and Clint setting the table.

He looked up with a grin. “Hey, Darce!”

“Ah, hi?”

“Pour her some wine,” Tasha ordered. “Dinner is almost ready, _kotyonok_.”

“That’s . . . good?”

Both of them turned to look at her. She tried to smile, but bewilderment kept her off-kilter. Tasha lifted an eyebrow at Clint and he nodded, strolling over to wrap an arm around Darcy’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Sit down, have some wine.”

“Why are you here?” She let him move her to the table. They both stilled, eyes steady on her. “Not that I mind! Really, I don’t, but . . .I don’t get it.” Their shoulders relaxed. Tasha went back to her cooking while Clint fetched a glass of wine. Her hand waved around as if to indicate the whole holiday meal and set up. “Didn’t you have plans? I’m pretty sure when everyone was talking at breakfast, the two of you said something about plans.”

“Yep.” Clint held out her glass and then dropped into the chair beside her. “You’re looking at them.”

“Your plans were to break into my suite?”

“Our plans were to spend the holiday with you.”

Darcy stared at him for a long moment before shifting her gaze to Tasha. “Did I miss something? Am I missing something?”

“We’ve been trying to talk to you all year, Darce.” Laser-focused blue eyes zeroed in on her. “But every time we got anywhere close to it, something happened or blew up in our backyard.” A wry smile curved his lips. “Since trying outside of the Tower wasn’t working, we decided to do it inside this time.”

“The Avengers have the next two days off,” Tasha announced. “Unless there’s a full-scale planetary invasion, we’re not on call. The Fantastic Four and owe us for dealing with Doom last month, so they’re covering emergencies.”

“Okay…” Darcy sipped her wine. She gave a small hum of approval and didn’t miss the smug satisfaction in Tasha’s smile. “All right.” Putting the glass down on the table, she turned her chair so she could look at both of them. “It has been both a wonderful and yet hellacious year.” Both of them nodded, though Clint gave a soft snort of amusement at her wording. “Don’t start with me, birdbrain.”

“Wouldn’t dare.”

“Ha!” She shook her head. “Add to that, I’m a little tired of all the interruptions too, and since I don’t trust there **not** to be some kind of invasion, I’m going to tell my nerves to shut the hell up and not bother beating around the bush in an attempt to ask you something.”

Clint took her hand, his calloused fingertips playing over her soft skin. “What are you nervous about, Darcy?”

“Should I start with the heroes part or the spy part or the agent part?” Both of them watched her, remaining silent. She drew in another deep breath. “And I’m none of the above.” Her lips pulled into a rueful smile as she shrugged. “Just a lab rat really, with a side of babysitter.”

“We’re going to discuss your misapprehensions about yourself, _kotyonok_.”

“Time out.” Darcy lifted an eyebrow at Tasha. “What do you keep calling me?”

“Kitten.”

Her eyes blinked wide in surprise, drawing chuckles from Clint while Tasha just smiled. “On that note, back to my original question.” She bit her lip and then forced herself to continue. “Can I presume that this . . .” Clint still held one of her hands, so she used the free one to gesture between the three of them. “ **This** is not one sided?”

“It is not.”

Tasha spoke in a simple fashion, the same tone she might use to say the sun rose in the east. A slow smile grew on Clint’s face as he tightened his hold on her hand. Turning it, he leaned down to press a kiss to the inside of her wrist, his eyes remaining locked with hers. “Definitely not one sided.”

She nodded, fighting to get her breath back after that brief brush of his mouth. “Good.”

“We’ll talk,” Tasha promised. “But for now, dinner’s ready.”

“Excellent idea,” Darcy agreed. Her mind whirled with all of the new and promising paths in front of her. Joy swirled through her, but they needed to talk first, to make sure they were all on the same page. “Let’s eat, then we can talk.”

Clint looked at her, a buried heat in those sharp eyes. “And then maybe a kiss or two?” 

“Oh, uh . . . yeah, I kinda think that needs to be on the schedule.”

"I agree." Tasha smiled in agreement. "Now both of you come help me get this food on the table."


End file.
